In Wednesday’s A Million Little Things, Rome and Regina find a fantastic facility for Rome’s dad, Walter, whose struggle with dementia grows greater by the week. But once Walter is settled at his assisted-living center, Rome’s guilt kicks in, hard.
If the episode feels authentic to those who’ve had loved ones suffer from the disease, that’s because Marce Clarke — who penned the script — has lived it: Her father has vascular dementia, and when she wrote the hour, she was his 24/7 caregiver.
Read on to hear what Clarke has to say about how the ABC drama’s final season makes use of her bittersweet personal experience.
TVLINE | I’m really, really interested to talk to you, because both my mother and my grandmother who lived with us for most of my childhood had dementia. So I feel like I feel you on a certain level — so you have that background. Talk to me about plotting out how Walter’s illness was going to progress this season, what kind of input you gave and how you wanted to pace it.
For me, the pacing was extremely important generally from the start to finish because we didn’t want it to go too quick and we didn’t want it to go too slow… I was living with my dad at the time, as well as writing. I took the brave step of moving in with him, which was kind of — yeah, I think I took too much on, but I wanted to do the right thing. I’m sure you empathize with, with that. You just want to do what’s right for your parents.
But in terms of the show, I kind of was trying to parallel that with my journey as much as I could. So things like the [urinary tract infection] of it all. That was my input, because my dad had a UTI and I remember DJ [Nash, series creator] not wanting it to not be believable.. He wanted that story to be real when Walter goes into the school [in Episode 7], and stuff like that. And, I just said, “Look, my dad got a UTI, and it sent him bananas.
…I was also thinking about my family dynamic, the brother, sibling situation, I had the same situation and just trying to keep everyone happy but taking control, I was very much the person who was taking control. I had an input in that kind of storyline. So I was just trying to mirror my own life and A Million Little Things’ [writers’] room is so great for that because they really listen to you. It doesn’t matter what level you are as a writer. They allow you to bring your personal stories to the table and you’re really respected and heard. People were kind of looking for answers in that way. DJ is so sweet. Even though his father had dementia, he would always be, you know, “Does that ring true to you? Does that seem authentic?” And they really cared, as well. The person running the room, [co-executive producer] William Brown, was exactly the same.
TVLINE | This process sounds like it could be incredibly cathartic but also really painful. I don’t want to turn into your shrink, but how was it for your insides as you were doing this episode?
That’s a really good question, and that’s a really fair question. It was good for me because I was living in a house with my dad at the time, very much alone. [Laughs] Sorry to get the violins out, but it was. So I had the room to look forward to. They were kind of like my only source of company for quite a while. And because DJ — and Bill Brown and [consulting producter] Susan Jaffee — had been through that journey like yourself, I could talk to someone like you about it, because you’ve been through it as well. So we can empathize with each other. None of my friends have been through this, you know. My dad’s only 65.
Their parents are going along and living their lives and enjoying retirement. So I went from feeling very isolated to actually having a little family.
TVLINE | Is your dad still with us? How is he doing?
He is. He’s in the moderate to severe stages. I had to move out in the end. I feared he was going to get aggressive. But we still go in… My family is so much more involved now, and it’s been great to have.
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