Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell’s Split: What Went Wrong? (Excl)

As Bachelor Nation waits for Rachael Kirkconnell to break her silence on her split from Matt James, a source is giving Us Weekly exclusive insight into their relationship.

“The split may seem abrupt, but this has been brewing for a while. It was a long time coming,” the source says. “Matt just couldn’t commit to her.”

James, 33, and Kirkconnell, 28, met on season 25 of The Bachelor, opting to date after the show instead of getting engaged. While they briefly separated as the show was airing, they were back together by spring 2021. James announced on Thursday, January 16, that they had called it quits.

According to the source, the duo struggled with trust issues. “It was hard for Rachael to trust him,” the source tells Us.

Still, “Rachael really wanted to get married and settle down and they were not on the same page,” the source continues. “She felt like she was waiting around, and he would never give her what she wanted.”

While “they are both very upset” over the breakup, per the source, Kirkconnell is “ready to move on” and knows “it’s for the best.”

During their four-year relationship, James and Kirkconnell were often asked about plans to take the next step. Just a few weeks before the breakup, Kirkconnell was interacting with fans via Instagram who were asking about a proposal, joking she would pop the question to James “next Thursday.” Last June, James told Us that he did intend to marry Kirkconnell.

“We’re doing great. I feel like when you feel pressure, it’s when you don’t wanna do something,” he told Us at the time. “So I’ve never really felt pressure [to get engaged] because it’s something that I’ve always wanted to do. It’s something that we’re gonna do at some point. That’s why we’re together and what we’re working toward. I’m excited about our future.”

Over the years, the twosome were also very active on social media, with James posting videos from their recent trip to London as recently as Wednesday, January 15. As a result, his breakup statement came as a shock to many fans. (Us pointed out that James often posts his travel content on a delay, so it’s likely the pair are no longer abroad together, but they haven’t confirmed when their trip took place.)

“Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts,” James wrote on Thursday. “Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord 💔.”

While some fans were questioning the religious tone of the post, James has been open about his faith in the past, even kicking off his Bachelor journey with a prayer. Kirkconnell is tagged in the statement — which was written alongside a photo from their season of the ABC show — but hasn’t shared the post. She later “liked” a comment on her own page that implied James or his split announcement blindsided her. Us understands she was surprised by the post and not the actual breakup itself.

“The more I’m thinking about it, the more I think he completely blindsided her with this,” the comment read. “Give her some grace and let her respond in her own time.”

Us Weekly has reached out to James and Kirkconnell for comment.